around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize