I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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