i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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