I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..