you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
