Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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(360): View more from Washington

whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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(718): View more from New York

Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?

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(850): View more from Florida

Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?

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