Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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