I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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