I CAN MOONWALK!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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