Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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