yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
