I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
