Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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