Who wears a wallet chain?!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
