matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
