R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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