Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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