My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
