At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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