John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
