so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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