i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
