yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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