i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
