Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
