Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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