i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
