bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
