dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
