Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
