NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
