just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
