I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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