She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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