How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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