god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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