He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
