I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
