whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
