Pants 0. Shit 1.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
