as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
