i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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