I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
