I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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