it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
