hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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