awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
