I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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