Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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