I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
