Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
