You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
