big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
