So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
