if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
