oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
