That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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