Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize