you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
