Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
