After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
